Scar? Ouch!

I saw that tiny blemish and got reminded of the whole entire thing again. As much as I am completely done, I’ll always remember this. It’s not something that you just simply forget. You put it behind you but occassionally, it lingers.

Right or maybe left

I hope that this decision will be a right one. I mean I thought I was insensitive but what fuck? I am clearly not. You think they’re the kindest and nicest people ever no shit, ya you’re wrong. It’s times like this when I feel like entirely backing out because I know that there is no one I can really trust here. What I tell someone and expect it to be a secret doesn’t remain. Instead it gets shared around like it was worth nothing and this feeling make me feel like a damn worthless piece of shit. And the worst thing is that, these people, they’re not sharing other people’s secret as a form of bitching, they share them because they are concern. Oh my fuckkkkk does that even make sense. Yea in the world where goodness triumphs evil and where fairytales happen. Hello? I’m an ingrate, so if I want to garner concern from someone else I would let them know my innermost issues, hello? Ah fuck it I’m just really frustrated and there’s no one I trust in this little system. Sad don’t you think? After spending what? One year? And not being able to fully trust anyone, not even ONE. Fucking pathetic.

Um ya ah sidenote, EXAMS ARE OVER and I had a really good day with the social workers and a really good night with yhs. And I feel so sorry for myself that I allowed such an annoyance to ruin my night.

Fatty bom bom

Oh fuck I got a shock of my life when I stripped down in my bathroom and realised how big my tummy was. I know I promised to start running after finals but running cannot wait. It’ll be the first thing I’ll be doing tomorrow. What if my tummy grows to become as big as my boobs what the fuck, no that cannot happen. I see people on the bus before they sit then through the shirt can see the layers of fats oh my fuck is this karma. I must take control of my own fate. I am traumatized.