That same leaf we were talking about one year ago

I am a terrible person, but that will never change. Because you know, no matter how you turn the leaf, it would still be the same. I know that I need to stop being so judgemental and critical because it’s bad for health.

And I need to stop picking my friends because I’ve barely found anyone suitable. Mean what you know? Will have no friend. Not that I mind but it’s just bad I guess. It really tiring to go through the whole process of smiling when you don’t feel like, pretending you don’t mind doing things for the people you don’t know that well. Then you’ll get really amaze how other people can have such weird thoughts, or do such weird things, or be so nice, or has an irritating face. All these judgements cannot escape and it is incredibly hard to supress them.

I don’t like to wait for people especially those I don’t know. If its for someone like lwt who is top list friend and constantly late, I don’t mind waiting seriosuly. I’ll just be late too. But you know, you don’t just make people wait when you just get to know them. Or tell people so much of yourself so soon. Or impose your views. Or pretend that you know alot about someone but you don’t. And ask for alot of favours. Where is the buffer period? Cannot jump step one must slowly slowly.

And I need a bitching friend omg, wished that bx/r/hs were here then I’ll love hall/school so much more because I will be bitching away about everyone and everything and I don’t have to care less about everything else that is so mundane, at least up till now. Then when I see weird people doing weird things I can just point and laugh out loud because long time friends cannot judge anymore and they will understand a joke. Short time friends don’t get jokes, or sacarsm. They will think you are sincere in everything you say and jump to believe everything you proclaim about yourself.

I need to move on. And I will start by being nice. Haha who am I kidding? (Rhetorical question)

_|_

Omg damn annoyed. Seriously. I haven’t felt so annoyed in such a long time. I should just unfollow the people who irritate me ttm on twitter. Consider it done.

Then fuck sia omg seriously. I have this (supposedly)friend. Last week sick. You sick poor thing, then ok. I what your dog? Must follow you go see doctor? Sick until cannot walk is it, then after go, what I do, rot and die? And is not don’t want follow. Is tone used. If say nice way like- ‘I feel very unwell, can you follow me to see the doctor?’ Dont even need to say please. Confirm will be yes. If not yes, I heartless. Dog also cannot be. But fuck no. Ask like three people already, then one already say yes. Then come to me. Then is super rude, say ‘Eh you go with me to see doctor la’. Fuck? Seriously.

Same person. Give you dialogue ok. Me: I love going home. Person: Then you stay hall for what? Me: *shrugs my shoulders* but in my mind going FUCK YOU WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM. Seriously. I want go home let me la. My money wasted flush down the drain then let it be. Concern you? One more thing. I take bus also got fucking problem. ‘Eh your hall so near you take bus waste space’ FUCK YOU MAN FUCK YOU. I want to take the bus then I take la seriously. I pay the same amout as everyone else right. Just cos near then I cannot take? My fucking fault I was borned a sloth? Omg I just feel like killing myself.

Then you know people usually brag about themselves. This person, not. Brag about people she know. Give you scenario again. ‘Eh you know John Doe damn pro he finish reading all his readings already you know! He read it all during the weekends. Omg damn pro. Mugger sia. I scared!’ WTF, and is like those who means it and not being sarcarstic or making fun. And funny thing, the person own self also like that, same pattern. Will mug off ass. You don’t read during weekend, then you do what? Party? Then go la.

Then I nice girl number one today. Same person was like ‘I want to drink milo’. Then got one shop near our destination got sell so I auto assume is there but like $3. Then person was like oh I want to go to the canteen to buy when reaching destination. FUCK THE CANTEEN HOW FUCKING FAR LIKE GO COME BACK CAN JUST SKIP THE LECTURE ALRD RIGHT. Then I really nice girl number one. ‘Later you really want I go back hall make for you.’ Then reply is ‘ewwww’. OMFG FUCK FACE? SERIOUSLY JUST FUCK OFF.

I just want to use chopper, those big big knife kind and chop off head cos the mouth is on the head. Fuck sia, this type of people I dont know what they thinking. But worst thing is, is my friend. Fuck, seriously. Then like only value outwards appearances and think that hanging out with people is the coolest thing ever in the whole wide world. If like you alone eg. sit alone in lecture means is loser for life. Fuck sia this type of people is childish mentality. Is all this fuckers like dont want sit alone all form one big group so look less loser. But actually, is loser. Cos all the no friends people who wna make friends like come together. You know what I mean? Fuck, very annoyed. On the scale of annoyed to annoyed and from 1 to 10, my annoyance level is 91713800319817139138942 FUCKKKKKKKKKKK.

Seriously. Then like act cool wannabe only. You know people skip lectures to like study or whatever right. This person skip lecture to eat dinner in hall. SERIOSULY. What is priority? Know one anot? Like to go home or to study is really ok because like make up for the time and cos maybe lecture will be useless. But like you not doing anything usefull then dont waste your fucking life la. Come uni then dont attend lessons. Dont come la. Just stay home rot watch tv end of life bye bye. Better right.

Me and you. No future for two weeks at least. No talk for two weeks. Fuck. And will never be good friends. Always happen one. Then will change abit for better. Then after awhile will revert back into a fucking personality. I thought change for good early this year. But apparently I was wrong. Always I tolerate. Must admit, got times is nice, like will sweet. But that’s it. That’s all. The rest when annoying is really annoying. Like damn fucking annoying will piss me off forever. And worst thing. I pissed off, you cannot tell. Because whole world is revolve around you. Seriously. Then people talk bad I cannot join in cos I will feel bad. Then sometimes still will defend cos I think you my friend. Seriously. Enough is enough like really cannot tolerate. You know like boyfriend girlfriend can breakup? I want to breakup the friendship. Like I really cannot take it. But if no talk no annoy. So no need so serious breakup. Just no talk no contact. Bye bye for a long time. Long time later, I will not be annoyed already. Then can be friends. Then whole process will repeat again. Good game.