Archive for May, 2010

hohoho

May 29, 2010

ouch muscle ache like pain, ask for it only.  tomorrow got work at 8am how to wake up i feel like dying right now. and past three four days very weird i got insomia. really like weird because i love sleeping and i cannot explain to anyone how much i love sleeping. watch show till 4am still nevermind then like kinda need to sleep but 6am still cannot sleep. and is vicious cycle, how. deal with it la how gosh.

applied for hall already hope i get in and hopefully it will be one hell of a year of fun, excitement and well the most important, good academic results and getting the major i want. time to say bye bye. i dont like to talk to people these few days. not that they are annoying. im annoying. i feel annoyed hearing my own voice seeing my own message on phone on screen, very annoying. but blog still ok because not short and detached. alright, night.

Protected: fuck you for being just who you are

May 26, 2010

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Updates updates

May 24, 2010

Hello! My life now is only made up of two things- work and fun, and those two, severely contradicts.

Well you see, the defination of work in accordance to my dictionary would be to drag my heavy ass out of bed at a specific time which is always less than ideal, and throughout the entire process of ‘work’, I can either enjoy myself or not. But if really wouldn’t make such a difference would it? It still is work godammit!!! And to hell with those people who say that it really isn’t work when you have passion for it because then work would then be the same as play and you’re getting a paycheck for something you love. How great is that? Yea fuck you! How in the world can anyone say that.

Some things are just meant to be separate entities and that is just the way it freaking is. So fuck, just keep it separate. If you were to enjoy every single day of you life, every single fucking obstacle you take as a challenge towards fulfilling your damn goal, then what obstacles would you face in your life? What would you be left to feel sad of? What purpose would it for you to have the ability to experience the myraid of emotions that you could have felt when your main goal is life is to be happy, and contented and not hold any regret or harbour any ill intentions towards anyone else but yourself.

So go do your work, be miserable at it. And then out of work, have your fun. And make sure that work don’t take over your whole entire life when you just detest yourself because when you’re not working, you’re still thinking of work. Go have your bloody fun like lying down on your damn comfy bed and sleeping in till whatever time you want to be awakened and go watch whatever drama you want to and go meet up with whoever is desired. Because that’s what you’re supposed to do when you have fun. You do things that you like. And don’t you start again with oh I like to work. Goshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

just you think

May 17, 2010

Talking to you is like relentlessly pissing myself off. For me to take a one more step further every single time I do and sink into an unending pit where I’ll be pissed at myself again and again and again, but I’ll still do it again nevertheless. Fuck. Hahaha but ok, besides that, today has been a fantastic and great and wonderful (and whatever fucking descriptive words you wna add in) day. Hurry start school, hurry!

SO HAPPY WHEEE

May 17, 2010

❤ Love little britain sooooooooooooo much. I look like an idiot sitting on my couch laughing to myself hahaha. Ohhhhhhhhhhh my, I wna go holiday holiday holiday so exciting omggggggggggggggggggggggggggg

what lies ahead

May 16, 2010

Sometimes, there is this overwhelming feeling because the future is so bleak and no one will ever know what it will be in time to come. It is like, everything is so uncertain and tangible, nothing is ever infallible because everything that you have and hold on dearly to can be diminished to sheer factors of a very vivid imagination because the line which you draw between what is an illusion and reality is just similar mostly because it is what you want it to be, or what you know it to be.

I want to sit down and bake for real sometime later in my life. I like looking at all the raw ingredients coming together, with the only thing that you have to do- to mix them. And they would turn out all fabulous just like the way you want them to be (not every single time obviously). It seems like a miracle totally. Cupcakes are just like um, fairytales. They are so unreal. They are pretty, they are colourful and sensational and you have a sense of gratification when you stare intensely at them. And when you finally take a tasteful bite down, you don’t feel like a carnivorous villain sinking your treacherous teeth into a slab of beef, but instead, you’ll feel beautiful and surreal because in your mouth, is every element that you have seen- pretty, colourful, sensational, like a fairytale, just that it is in real life. And then you will be on cloud nine… all floaty and cheerful. Just like drugs, just that, not harmful.

Tomorrow got fairytale story wheeeeeeee, so happy. Thinking about cupcakes makes me happy! Small kid, so easily contented.

either everything is a miracle, or nothing is

May 15, 2010

You sometimes wished for things to happen, give unpurposed suggestions about how things should be instead of what it is, how some people should be something other than what they are. But it will never be. Wake up your freaking idea. It will never be. If you’re going to what if what if and what if, and there are so many what ifs involved, then fuck, it most probably would not happen and that’s all to it.

You know, people judge. Some more blatantly and more apparent than others. Then some people will be mean. Oh I don’t like you, so I’m going to hate you and make everyone else hate you. Don’t ask me why, I just hate you. I don’t care at all. You think they mean it? Beneath every I hate you, every I don’t care, every don’t ask me. Ever thought of what even sparked off such a nonchalant and demeaning response? Disengagement maybe. And they think they know it all, privy to the ocurrences of the entire fucking world.

If you’re always judging, having mean thoughts, rolling your eyes at aboslutely everything astonishing, then isn’t there something incredibly wrong with your innate characteristic. Or is the world such an unbearable and unsightly place with too many morons around whose actions only serve to annoy the hell out of you. Only when you take many steps back and observe from an astute perspective, would you be able to realise that every single person can be mean and nasty and evil. Everyone can be that person. It is just whether they choose to be, or not. So while being a villain it is not impossible to still be a victim, because your worst nightmare might just come into play.

The computer, the key to the keypads, the alphabets, the internet, the cupboard, the air-conditioner, the bags, the hangers, the pen, the paper, the tree, the clothes, the pillow, the buildings, the elevator, the travallator, the escalator, the lightbulb, the shower, the toilet bowl, the sun, the clouds, the birds, the grass, the sky, the coldness, the heat, the snail, the mosquito, the thunderclouds, the rain, everything is so freaking amazing. If you’ll just stop and look and think, you’ll find meaning in these little things of life in itself. Isn’t it amazing. But the thing about us is that, these objects, animals, elements loses its appeal to humans because humans only like novelty. New things leave us astounded while we get used to the old ones. Like how it is supposed to be. Like grass will always be on the ground and green, like the light will always be bright if you turn on the switch. It is only when we lose it that will will appreciate the value of it and realise altogether again, how important and amazing it is. But the thing is, we’ll never know. Never.

hello good day

May 8, 2010

Wooooooooooooooooooooo off day rocks I love off days.

Hong Kong is happening really soon, can’t wait can’t wait! But money fly away, like heart pain. But don’t mind. Shop for clothes accessories and what not what not and all the uni stuff. Wooooooooooooooooo. (Can see I excited? I say woooo 2 times, with damn alot of o behind the w, joke)

Just accepted nus fass. Happy. So friends, see you there. There’ll be a great many of you I heard and maybe secretly hope, or not. Undecided. Ok bye bye, dont emo, world is a fucking good place to be in even as life sucks. Move the fuck on man.

Rememberance? Shit.

May 7, 2010

You really remind me of him. Fun, interesting, complex, sad, and in so many many other ways that makes me like you more than many others, and I want to be your friend. But it’s so damn hard because everytime I talk to you, I feel like I’m talking to myself because you’re not really listening, absorbed in your own little world, more so than I am absorbed in mine. And just like him, you expect me to listen almost all the time. And I’ll be here always when you need me, to listen, to empathise, to talk to. I’ll do almost everything you will me to do because that’s what I’ll do with people I like. But shit, you’re just like him. You just need a listener, an audience. You don’t need a friend.

As much as I know that there are many many reasons behind such dis-illusionment and such unfeeling motivations, I am not completely oblivious of the factors behind such a character. You both are so so so similar that sometimes, it pains me just to think of it. I have no idea why. No idea at all. I’ll just feel damn sad about it and I just feel like killing myself especially when I knowingly throw myself into the pit. But well, now that I’m astutely aware, I’ll know better.

Gahhhhhhhhhhhhh, damn annoying.

Compulsive blogging disorder

May 2, 2010

Shit, I feel fucking lame, blog for like 3/4 days in a row. Eat finish too free, nothing to do kind, like damn lame hor, ya I know. Eeee, I also don’t like, but I really bored. Later need to go out omg damn lazy, but I will!!!!! Hahaha, zz sian.

Eh haha deep heart issue. I think you irreplacable leh HAHAHHA how how how, but nevermind lor, just go missing, can never find back. But miss leh, awww mushy hor shhhhhhhhhhhhh. Then tragic flaw is what! Haha so entertating! I think I nowdays damn easy entertained. Super, even at work, but also easy annoyed. How? Live with it la how, ok bye, need to start preparing myslef for action-packed evening haaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, rubbish only!