as bored as

omg work had better begun soon coz im bored and rotting. i want a getaway, to some beach or something for just three days and i’ll be good damn damn good i tell you. right now i feel pleaantly depressed. yea right. depressed your ass, i just need to get my butt out of the house/bed. it’s a bloody vicious cycle i tell you, and i betcha know it yourself. ok i rly wna read but the library is so far and my drawer only offer unappealing tittles, urgh the life of a wastrel. but i’m doing good. much better than pre- a levels, that period of time was really tormenting ttm. the health-iest part of my body now must be my fingers (incessent typing), they got the most exercise. looking forward to work soon, sounds incredibly fun wooooooooooh

back from holiday

I have to start reading. Otherwise, I’ll be slumped into this realm of moral degredation and this world where words and letters are unrecognisable. Reading is good, I don’t feel so much of a wastrel when I’m reading as when I’m watching tv shows, which are not totally useless because they impart moral messages and teach social satire.

Trip was really good, weather there was fabluous. The food there was grrrrrrrrrreat, like seriously. You know when you’re overseas, you’ll tend to miss something back from your own country? I didn’t miss a single thing like how I’ll usually miss food like hokkienmee and carrotcake (i’m a traditional junkie). But this time I didn’t because the food there was seriosuly YUMYUMYUM! Haha, sashimi was beyond greatness and we had salmon everyday, heaven, I tell you. And this huge crab was omg, and so was the omg beef. Every meal was satisfying yum yum yum haha but it was healthy there. Nothing was oily, it was very much soupy. I like soup.

Weather was equally great, it snowed when it should and boy, it was a spectacular sight, not that we’ve never seen snow before, but I’ve never seen snow so beautiful. You know I used to have this wasped perception that snow flakes were these huge thing that fell from the sky. Well, it fell from the sky, but they were tiny things that made up a tiny speck snow, pretty! I think the snow flakes in korea were bigger!

And oh fuckk, the hot spring was damn good, it was hot and it was extremely good especially when the weather was cold so it was like your body was hot while you’re out in the cold. Best life ever. Except, I don’t exaclty like the country because everything is so expensive plus it’s dark and chilly at night and noisy if you’re not in a hot spring because you’re out on some street and almost everyone you look at is so friendly that you feel obliged to smile at them because, you are obliged. And they still utter their customary phrases even as you stare at them in bewilderment.

Ok that was the great trip. But when I came back, I signed up for this work thing that really sucked. Because I had to stand for what 12h and get paid 50$ for the entire duration? Fuck you, it’ll be ok if the people there were more pleasing to look. But the people who stood there and bought stuff looked like total losers and retards and whatever, I spoiled or whatever you may call it, but this is not the minimum pay job that I want. I’ll just wait for 28, which seems so much more fun and pay slightly more than minimum pay. Oh fuck them.

Right now, I’m into How I Met Your Mother because Greys Anatomy and Gossip Girl has stopped screening for like the impending months. I want an Ipod touch. I hope that my parents would get it for me, otherwise, I’ll earn $$$ and pay for it myself! And all the university applications have closed and I didn’t apply to any, so I have no back up plan, oh fuckkkkk. If my A levels is screwed up, my life plans will be screwed up. So come, screw it up, what’s new.

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

i miss those times. perhaps, there’ll be better ones in the future, but you miss something, only because it’s good. i mean, that’s the meaning of miss. you think of something from the past. not because you dont like your suroundings now, but because you hold on to those memories. please dont get me wrong, as anyone would always. i’m always being willfully misunderstood. perhaps my speech do not correspond with my gestures.

i’m glad too because as warped and irrational as s has nonchalantly put it to be, it hints at something. because that would actually translate into the harbouring of good thoughts even if the result is bad, and unintended. because it would mean that something had a severe impact, that resulted in any afflicted actions. and i quote, that i should be honoured, and i am. but nevertheless, you should know that in a good way, i miss those times, fervently.

because i don’t want to be happy and free. because i need more than that. imagine if your life is all chirpy and merry. what the fuck would you do if something big and sad happened. you’ll cry and die. but i’m good now. because i’m not happy and free. but i was happy and free. and i can be. as i will. get away is good. meetups will be good too.

sandp

because my stomach stings and pains. and also because of my inability to forgetttttttttttttt, because all those tormenting thoughts are coming back and lashing at me quick quick quick. and when i will myself to be glad and happy, i am and will be. but for now, reminiscent? oh screw life